How you doin' over there in your world?
Over here, we're feeling some relief that March has begun. February was not a vibe. Do you agree?
But today we saw a robin together, and felt some sunshine. That makes a world of difference!
And... in this more playful mood, we're wondering...
Have you ever thought of yourself as fickle?
Here's a scenario. (Try it on for yourself and then circle back to the fickle question.)
You're folding some washcloths and your partner comes along and playfully slaps you on the bum!
Do you react the same way every time?
Often we think so, until we start looking at specific examples...
Many of us can swing dramatically in our reactions to situations like this.
Here's why:
Our nervous system acts as an interpreter between the brain and the body. It constantly takes in information, translates it, and passes it onward from one source to the other. It's ability to do all it's daily translations is affected by the following factors:
How nourished or undernourished we are
How hydrated or dehydrated we are
What our energy level is like
How much Emotional Capacity we have
How much Emotional Resilience is on board
These factors also invite us into one of three brain states:
Survival
Emotional
Executive
A second set of factors also affect how our nervous system translates information going back and forth between the brain and body:
The concepts we have in place about this particular thing (in this case, a specific kind of physical contact on specific body part in a specific context).
The variety and nature of historical involvement we have with this category of experience.
The stories we tell about our self on this topic.
Guess how much time passes between the slap and all this nervous system factoring?
Less than a second!
In fact, most of the time, the nervous system is prepared by the brain ahead of time based on the current state of the factors above.
And then, just as rapidly, before we react another operation takes place.
Depending on the Brain State in which we find ourselves, some of our concepts, history, and stories will rush to the forefront, and others will recede from view.
Our Survival System will likely call forth the concepts, history, and stories that show a playful slap to the bum as anything but playful and generally frame it as BAD.
Our Emotional System will likely call forth the concepts, history, and stories that show the same playful slap as EMOTIONALLY COMPLICATED.
Our Executive System will likely call forth the concepts, history, and stories that show that playful slap as playful indeed and whether we're down or not, still generally frame it as POSITIVE.
Add all this up in a split second and what you get is a reaction!
Here's an example:
Each person's concepts, history, and stories will vary, but the biased selection process the Brain State makes is reliable.
All of this happens in an instant!
To recap:
• How rested, fueled, capacious, or resilient we are in any given moment invites us to process from a particular Brain State.
• From there we gain access to certain concepts, certain pieces of our history, and certain stories.
• And then we have a correlative reaction.
All of which means that one moment we may HATE a playful slap, and in another moment we might DELIGHT in a playful slap. (If you aren't into playful slaps to the bum in any Brain State, feel free to switch that example out for one that is more appropriate to you.)
So, what's the verdict? Are you fickle?
Or are you just a human shifting from one neuroemotional experience to another?
Let us know what you think!
Love,
Natalie and Nathan
We get into this, and SO MUCH MORE, in this weekend's Snuggle Class!
It's not too late to join!