You have a right to know where the leaders of your communities stand so that you know whether or not you want to stand with them, right? We want to be fully transparent, generally as a rule, but especially now when accountability is so important.
Where we stand:
We're not okay with the people that are supposed to protect people instead hurting and killing them.
We're not okay with people being treated, not only differently, but also maliciously because of their physical attributes and/or identities.
And with respect to the current context, we want to say, we're not okay with the systems of this country which work solidly, routinely, and chronically against certain people and identities.
That's where we stand. We stand with safety. For all.
What we're doing:
• We are continuously educating ourselves so that we are the safest and wisest community members possible. To further our equity efforts, we are working with our mentor, Trudi Lebron.
• Recent donations include, but are not limited to:
• We also offer scholarships to all of our group programs for people from marginalized groups or communities, or anyone else who needs that support. These are not financially-based scholarships, they are equity-driven. Click here for a scholarship application.
What we know and don't know:
We're perpetual learners. We don't know everything and will never pretend to. We pledge to keep our minds, hearts, ears, and analytical minds open to all that there is yet to learn.
But what we do know is that we cannot effect long-term, lasting change from our Survival Brain. That part of us that kicks in when we're really scared, really mad, or deep in despair? It reacts in just four ways: Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Appease.
This means that when we are processing from a Survival State:
We don't care about others, only ourselves
We can't see new possibilities, we can only double-down on acts that didn't work the first time
We procrastinate
We run away
We distract ourselves
We agree to arrangements that aren't right for us
We get defensive
We assault
We give up
We freeze
The Survival Brain state also has very little stamina to keep anything up for any amount of time. What we need to dismantle systemic racism and provide all forms of safety to all people, is prolonged, serious, creative effort.
Only the Executive Brain is equipped for that.
Our goal is to help as many people as possible to get back to, or stay in their Executive Brain, as often as possible and for as long as possible.
When we process from the Executive Brain State:
We can be logical
We can be compassionate
We can be dedicated
We can be curious
We can be empathetic
We can learn and retain new information
We care about others
We change habits
We hear, see, and understand better
We can be open-minded
We can be detail-oriented
We follow through
We keep it up
At this time, especially, it is important that we all do our parts to manage our own brain chemistry and climb back into our Executive Brain again and again.
How?
Already fighting, flying, freezing, or appeasing? Okay, time to soothe the Survival System: Get warm, get safe, eat food, drink water. Now try 5,4,3,2,1: Name 5 things you can see. 4 things you can touch. 3 things you can hear. 2 things you can smell. 1 thing you can taste. Give it time.
When your Survival System is soothed and your heart rate is back to normal, you can now start Notice, Name, Touch to soothe your Emotional System and get back to an Executive state.
Feeling upset? Support your Emotional System with Notice, Name, Touch™: Notice when emotion is present. Name it (at least 2-3 feelings you're able to notice). Use touch (a hug, your hand over your heart) to help process it. Give it some time (so your brain chemistry can shift).
In this way your Emotional System will be soothed enough to grant you access to your Executive Brain again.
Now... Act
Your Executive Brain will help you take effective action, cooperate, plan, support, and generally be the biggest, best, most brave, and helpful version of yourself. You've taken the steps to change your brain chemistry and now have access to this powerful brain state. Go out there and do all of the powerful, earth-shaking, system-changing things you know to do.
Need direction for where to go next? Here's a resource.
There is a huge emotional load right now.
The pandemic alone was more than enough to raise our emotional content to an extremely uncomfortable level. Add to that decades of despair, rage, and powerlessness that pool around social injustice. Toss in some anxiety around current politics in America. Add a splash of shame and guilt for having feelings at all at a time when you're supposed to be supporting or fighting. That's a perfect recipe for total meltdown.
It is important that you talk about your feelings. (Remember, that Survival Brain will kick in as soon as the emotional load is too potent or heavy).
If you are not a Black, Indigenous, Person of Color, or Queer community member, it may not be the time to share about your feelings on social media and reach out for support on the national scale. It's not your turn for that. It's time for all of those often-muted voices to be amplified. But that doesn't mean you have to stuff it all in. It's worse for everyone if you do. Talk to a trusted non-marginalized friend, or email us. We will hear you and connect with you around your experience.
If you are a Black, Indigenous, Person of Color, or Queer community member, you have our support to take up as much of the stage as feels right to you. You can also email us and we will hear you and connect with you around your experience. Just because there are others speaking loudly and holding the spotlight, doesn't mean that your particular experience doesn't need to be held. Sometimes it can seem like other people are saying it better, or already said what you might say, but there is potent neurochemical alchemy that happens when we hear our own voice – even in an email – describing our emotional landscape.
No matter who you are, odds are you have big feelings in there somewhere. Our intention is to communicate that you are safe with us. If you do not feel safe with us, we'd like to hear more and do better.
